When you turn on your car radio at 6am to start your day, and Joni Mitchell's "Help Me" is the first song you hear, you know its going to be a day of struggles.
Today ladies and gentlemen, is my first "about the rest of my life blog post." And its not going to be about the warm hug a comfy cup of soup can offer (I wish), because this mornings events were not comfy, and were not warm.
I hit a parked car. A parked car, that was parked in my driveway. That was parked there by me, the night before. I did this at 6am on my way into work. Joni Mitchell said it best, "Help Me."
Background: My family; Husband, Son, Daughter and myself live in the country; a rural hiatus, an escape from suburbia, a batcave of sorts. We love our back roads filled with horses, our front yard that sees the occasional deer and tobbaggon and the darkness the night brings with our unlit streets and a sky painted with stars.
This, "unlit" quality that I cherish at night brings a harsh reality at my 5 am wake-up time, and my 6 am trip to work. Tea in hand, toast and peanut butter thrown on a paper towel on my way out. I walk into the night. The night that is really morning masked in darkness with a hint of earl grey, and the black car in my driveway about to get run over. BY.ME. My mothers car, that she had leant us, innocently parked. Me behind the wheel of our new van. Not quite the "soccer mom" safe driving I am usually known for.
I cry. I am 7 months pregnant and this is the first thing that has brought me to tears in those 7 months. I cry because I know I have to tell my husband. I cry because its 6 am and Im tired. I cry because I know its going to cost a fortune to fix. I cry because I know when I tell my Mother the news, she is going to say something like: " Don't worry about it, everything is ok!" or better yet she will apologize to me. AND I cry because I'm 7 mths pregnant and all I want to do at that moment is drink a bottle of my favourite wine and crawl back into bed.
I know, 6 am "pops" how classy!
Then reality hits. I find a quiet moment to read the new blog post by h; about knit sweaters and pancetta. I see how far our business has come in such a short time. I feel lucky, humbled and embarrassed all at once. I sit, and let my mind be at ease. Perspective sets in.
No matter how crappy the weather, how hard things feel in the moment, I know they will get better. I know this because my children fill me with hope and wonder. Because sewing reminds my heart of its passion. Because my husband can turn unnecessary auto body work into a comedic event and because homemade soup repairs my soul and makes me feel 'fuller.'
Put life into perspective. Fall, pick yourself up, call your Mother for advice. Repeat.
(Unless you have just hit her car)
I rarely wear socks or jackets. I love fully sharpened HB pencils, the smell of skunks, and making sugar cookies. I believe in family and friends first, that someone WILL invent a way to install spell check in my brain and that life goes on. I have watched every episode of Gilmore Girls at least 7 times, I put butter and sugar on my pancakes, and I love toasted tomato sandwiches with garden tomatos and mayo.
Life is fun, even if you drive into a parked car and announce it to a million people on a blog post. Humbling, embarrassing and uplifting.
Looks like we're having soup for dinner tonight!
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